Clear the air

New car. New apartment. New Job. Check, check, check.

I find it hard to believe that things came together as they did - almost exactly as I said they would to those who wondered why in the hell I'd be moving to Los Angeles. It's like when you graduate high school or college and everyone asks you (at least once per conversation) where you are going to school or what you're going to do next; you rattle off your strategic 5-year plan of attack over and over and over again. Well, it's no surprise that after a while you start to believe it. Well, I did and I guess rounding the three month mark here in LA, I'm a little awestruck at how things fell into place for me.

Something else that's weird, almost existential, is now and again I have these - I don't know what to call them - moments? feelings? realizations? that this is my life. I wake up everyday and go to work. I go until 6 or 7, come home, eat and pass out and then I wake up and do it all over again. I do love my job and I'm excited to see what steps will come later in life, but each day that passes, it becomes glaringly obvious that I need a creative outlet. By creative outlet, I mean that I need to stay proactive about pursuing acting professionally.

It's going to become really easy to fall into this pattern that I've worked so hard to set up for myself the past few months. A rut does not sound appealing and completely loosing sight of why I cam out here in the first sounds even worse. Fortunately, I have side projects (like everyone else in this town it seems) that keep me sane. Currently, I'm line-producing a short film/musical entitled "Door-to-Door." I'll explain more about that later. We had one of our first production meetings this week and everyone has their concerns. I have my concerns. The difference between the two, is that I have to (at least) pretend like I'm not worried - I got it under control - unload all your worries on me and I'll fix it.

Usually, I love being that guy, but I just can't seem to get past the exhaustion that comes from going to work everyday and then coming home - and expecting myself to be productive. Where did the switch happen? How was I able to go to class everyday in college, do homework and then drink heavily for 4/7 days of the week in college (well ... freshman year anyway). Now, I can barely stay awake after going to work. I'm waiting for my body to adjust to adult life and everything to click. I can't see that happening anytime soon though...