The Modern Handmaid's Tale of the 2016 Election
7 years ago
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
007: License to Kill
I mean... license to drive.
Somehow, this makes things seem a little more permanent...
Somehow, this makes things seem a little more permanent...
Compare and Contrast
I was on set again this weekend and, needless to say, this experience was quite different than the last.
I guess I should blame myself - not realizing what I was getting into. When someone tells you that you're shooting a music video in one (that's ONE) day, you should know that that means one helluva long day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to get discouraged from a long day's work, but when a production team - your superiors- foster a poor working environment, one tends to get discouraged.
Days like these are ruthless, never-ending and people will almost always be on edge. I was shocked, however, by how caddy, demeaning and arrogant many members of this particular team were. Again, I'm not above working my way up the ladder, but when people purposefully go out of their way to make you feel small, insignificant - a PA, then something is seriously wrong. I hope I never forget that any successful production rests on on the sweating backs of its PA's. If I do forget - feel free to offer my a swift kick in the balls.
The good news? Productions are never permanent and I earned my paycheck.
Moving on...
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
And now... a moment for the children
I found this in in the children's book section at Target and couldn't help but laugh a little.
Imagine playing in the sandbox in kindergarten, enjoying your free time, hanging with your formative friends. Suddenly, the lights flicker and the teacher (and probably her aid) start singing that clean up song. You throw the little shovel into the box and run to the reading corner. Happily, you roll out one of those weathered leather lily pads that has your name written on it neatly on a piece of masking tape. That teacher sits down quietly and cracks open today's reading delight!
Literally, a children's book outlining the life and accomplishments of our President-Elect. Listen, I'm pro-Obama and I'm excited for what's to come, but America has got to be ready to have patience. Inauguration Day isn't going to change the face of America in an instant. What's even more frightening is there isn't a guarantee that Obama will change anything. I'm not a pessimist; not even a little but - but this children's book just made me a little leary-eyed.
Imagine playing in the sandbox in kindergarten, enjoying your free time, hanging with your formative friends. Suddenly, the lights flicker and the teacher (and probably her aid) start singing that clean up song. You throw the little shovel into the box and run to the reading corner. Happily, you roll out one of those weathered leather lily pads that has your name written on it neatly on a piece of masking tape. That teacher sits down quietly and cracks open today's reading delight!Literally, a children's book outlining the life and accomplishments of our President-Elect. Listen, I'm pro-Obama and I'm excited for what's to come, but America has got to be ready to have patience. Inauguration Day isn't going to change the face of America in an instant. What's even more frightening is there isn't a guarantee that Obama will change anything. I'm not a pessimist; not even a little but - but this children's book just made me a little leary-eyed.
Sleep Deprivation
My transition away from HSI is now in full swing. This weekend I spent Saturday through Monday in Palm Springs working on a music video for an up and coming artist, Daniella. To make a long story short, there was a lot of driving, too much caffeine, and a really great team. Props to everyone for working on about 4 hours of sleep for the whole weekend. The shots look incredible and the video will be amazing.
Freelancing jobs are lining up and hopefully, after this weekend, I'm finding my niche and home in the production world. This team was fluid, hard working and like-minded. I couldn't have been happier with the environment and the result!
The next step? Come January 1, I'll start tearing in the acting world. Oh yeah... I went to college for that didn't I?
Freelancing jobs are lining up and hopefully, after this weekend, I'm finding my niche and home in the production world. This team was fluid, hard working and like-minded. I couldn't have been happier with the environment and the result!
The next step? Come January 1, I'll start tearing in the acting world. Oh yeah... I went to college for that didn't I?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Reckoner
This is a poem that my brother wrote at Penn State University (Honors College). The assignment was to emulate another poet. He chose to look at the work of Theadore Roethke. This was the result.
The Reckoner by Jesse Cramer
You stand firmly among tables and charts
to build up one sum, to tear yet another apart
into fine specks of figures, refined
in every sense, now perfect, round and defined.
Toss them aside, forget it all, and rave
with me. Take my stretched palm, reaching to save
your mind muddled by aging school-teachers,
scientists pals and lunatic preachers.
First, add swaying hips and pulsing fingers,
subtracting any sense that lingers
in your throat. Mindlessly derivate passions
to thoughts into signals and actions.
When you have set all calculations beyond
reach, chalk my name, and I will respond
with a lean, a wave. Un-teach your drive
and you may find that two-and-two yields five.
"I get by with a little help from my friends...."
I've been thinking about this Beatles anthem all week. It's amazing to think how time has passed since my formative years, elementary school, middle school, high school, college... now. Some memories are so clear, so vivid - it's as if I lived them yesterday. Other memories are fading exponentially quicker - faces from high school, parties with old friends, the list goes on. This week, I got coffee with one of my best friends from childhood, Noelle. I've been friends with her since middle school. Along with Jeff (my best friend from 2nd grade) and Meg (Noelle's best friend from birth), I have considered myself blessed with the amount of love and support they have provided. I don't know that I would have gotten by without the help of these (and other) friends.
My last few posts have been regarding the large transition that's taking place in my life. The other day, walking to my car after work, I told myself that I was allowed to give in to the anxiety boiling inside of me. I took five minutes to freak out, to relish in every "worse-case-scenario," and to tell myself that there was no answer. After five minutes had passed, I stopped. That was it - I'm no longer allowed to succumb to my anxiety or fear. I have been as proactive as possible about making something happen - and now I must relinquish my need for control and realize that this is no longer in my hands.
The next day, I got coffee with Noelle just to check in. I hadn't had the chance to go to church last week so we didn't get our weekly meeting. After expressing my coping methods with her - she looked at me and in earnest said, "This is the perfect time for God to test you faith, Mark!" Oddly enough, I had just gotten off the phone with Meg who said almost verbatim, the same thing.
What a fascinating --- and glaringly obvious --- concept. How typical of me not to fully grasp this idea on my own. I have no right to freak out. Have I ever found myself without previsions? I guess there's a reason that God said "with the faith of mustard seed, you can move mountains." I mean, if that's the case, shouldn't there be rouge ranges all over the place? Why aren't the Rockies in Florida or the Himalayas in Germany? It's because real faith is difficult. It's not for the faint of heart or the indifferent spirit. Faith means unconditional belief. That, my friends, is a rarity - if at all possible in the purest in form.
Sidenote: Coffee with Noelle at Susina Cafe was straight up East Coast winter stylin'. Warm lighting around a Christmas tree while listening to jazz music and sharing coffee. Sorry... was that too much too soon? It just got me fired up to hang out in Philly and get drinks, hot chocolate and walk down Chestnut St. in the freezing cold!
Anyway, to put a cap on this entry - I did my best to absorb what Meg and Noelle said, and the anxiety is now at a lull. I got a call yesterday to go on set this weekend in Palm Springs at a great rate and got word for a few other freelancing possibilities. If I can book a few more - I'll be good until the end of January.
Ask you shall recieve. Check your motives for these requests. Have a little faith...
... and thank your friends.
My last few posts have been regarding the large transition that's taking place in my life. The other day, walking to my car after work, I told myself that I was allowed to give in to the anxiety boiling inside of me. I took five minutes to freak out, to relish in every "worse-case-scenario," and to tell myself that there was no answer. After five minutes had passed, I stopped. That was it - I'm no longer allowed to succumb to my anxiety or fear. I have been as proactive as possible about making something happen - and now I must relinquish my need for control and realize that this is no longer in my hands.The next day, I got coffee with Noelle just to check in. I hadn't had the chance to go to church last week so we didn't get our weekly meeting. After expressing my coping methods with her - she looked at me and in earnest said, "This is the perfect time for God to test you faith, Mark!" Oddly enough, I had just gotten off the phone with Meg who said almost verbatim, the same thing.
What a fascinating --- and glaringly obvious --- concept. How typical of me not to fully grasp this idea on my own. I have no right to freak out. Have I ever found myself without previsions? I guess there's a reason that God said "with the faith of mustard seed, you can move mountains." I mean, if that's the case, shouldn't there be rouge ranges all over the place? Why aren't the Rockies in Florida or the Himalayas in Germany? It's because real faith is difficult. It's not for the faint of heart or the indifferent spirit. Faith means unconditional belief. That, my friends, is a rarity - if at all possible in the purest in form.
Sidenote: Coffee with Noelle at Susina Cafe was straight up East Coast winter stylin'. Warm lighting around a Christmas tree while listening to jazz music and sharing coffee. Sorry... was that too much too soon? It just got me fired up to hang out in Philly and get drinks, hot chocolate and walk down Chestnut St. in the freezing cold!
Anyway, to put a cap on this entry - I did my best to absorb what Meg and Noelle said, and the anxiety is now at a lull. I got a call yesterday to go on set this weekend in Palm Springs at a great rate and got word for a few other freelancing possibilities. If I can book a few more - I'll be good until the end of January.
Ask you shall recieve. Check your motives for these requests. Have a little faith...
... and thank your friends.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Coping methods
I'm combating the inevitable freak out - no word on a new job.
Coping methods (so far):
1) Search for more jobs (incessant)
2) Talk about it (annoying to everyone around me)
3) Suppress it (lying)
4) Allow myself to panic for 5 minutes and get over it (therapeutic)
5) Pray (hard)
I feel like I'm gritting my teeth 24 hours a day.
I should stop - I'm not in the red zone just yet.
A few problems:
1) Slow right now in Production --- freelancing is no good
2) Beginning of the holiday season --- leaving for Christmas so working at a Restaurant is almost impossible
3) New hires mostly begin in the new year
Trying to get creative.
Breath in.
Breath out.
Nope, still feel that pit in my stomach.
Coping methods (so far):
1) Search for more jobs (incessant)
2) Talk about it (annoying to everyone around me)
3) Suppress it (lying)
4) Allow myself to panic for 5 minutes and get over it (therapeutic)
5) Pray (hard)
I feel like I'm gritting my teeth 24 hours a day.
I should stop - I'm not in the red zone just yet.
A few problems:
1) Slow right now in Production --- freelancing is no good
2) Beginning of the holiday season --- leaving for Christmas so working at a Restaurant is almost impossible
3) New hires mostly begin in the new year
Trying to get creative.
Breath in.
Breath out.
Nope, still feel that pit in my stomach.
Monday, November 10, 2008
In the wake of change....
So, as you can see, this weekend's shoot for DOOR TO DOOR went amazingly well. I am still high from the amount of professionalism, creativity and sheer talent that our crew exhibited. It's often been the case in my independent film-making experience that production elements of similar projects are rarely on the same level. A script may be amazing, but you sacrifice production design. The acting is great, but the sound is awful. You get the point. For the first time, all elements meshed together and rose to the same level. One that, frankly, I'm amazed at.
Besides the technical aspects - the RED Camera (4x the resolution quality of HD), JL Fisher Dolly, etc - our team shone bright. Everything from the cast (Chelsey Bryson, our amazing kids, Mark Rydell, Laura Black), to the script, to the score, to the sound (Keith Wasserman) to the production design (Brent Mason) - everyone stepped up and I couldn't be more excited to have been apart of the this project.
Micah (Director/EP of Movie Magic) and I were talking about what DOOR TO DOOR represented. Since starting MMM, our passion has been creative collaboration. We've learned the price and balance of free flow and structure and this project affirms the proper balance inherent to this company.
We were blessed to have such a strong production team. I learned so much from everyone and will be continue to grow professionally as a result of it.
Having had this project monopolize my mind for the past week, I've put off addressing other worries, concerns and fears. Most specifically that change has, again, infiltrated my life. Daily air raids and attacks on my day-to-day life have become an inevitability. I lost my job at HSI Productions. After interning here over the summer, I was ecstatic to be brought on full time. It was still the slow season in production and while others were struggling to find work, I was lucky enough to land and stay here.
Over the last six months here, I have learned an invaluable amount of information about an industry previously unknown to me. I've also learned about myself and reconfirmed the passion I have for acting. The reason I went to college, the art that helped me survive high school - this is the reason I came here in the first place. I got comfortable at HSI. Steady pay, security, etc. I lost sight of my goals. Having figured all of this out - I told myself that I would leave by the end of the year. The more time passed, the less likely this was an option (especically in the wake of America's economic downfall).
I was called into the office early last week. Tuesday afternoon I was told that our company had not bounced back from the slow period like they had originally expected when I was brought in house. Being a 2nd Assistant, having worked here for a short period of time - these factors played into my being let go. I have to keep telling myself to not make this personal. She was very clear that this was in no way a reflection of the quality of my work, but a sign of the economic times.
I can be at peace with that. In many ways, this is a blessing. I'm trying to pray and keep cool from the beginning of this change - instead of my typical pattern of freaking out, "figuring it out myself" and then at the last moment looking to someone else in desperation. Let's just cut to the helping hand part. I now have the opportunity to start over and look at my life again from a fresh perspective. I'm not weighed down the 1000 more uncertainties of my residency like in August. Now I can focus on my career goals and a lifestyle that benefits my energy, passions and relationships.
So, in the wake of change, I find myself on the brink of something great. Something frighteningly new and fresh - yet, all too familiar. From this point; from on outset, I need to have faith, pray and trust a design bigger than my own. I will ride the wave of change into the new year - one already branded as the dawn of a new era for me, my country and the world.
Besides the technical aspects - the RED Camera (4x the resolution quality of HD), JL Fisher Dolly, etc - our team shone bright. Everything from the cast (Chelsey Bryson, our amazing kids, Mark Rydell, Laura Black), to the script, to the score, to the sound (Keith Wasserman) to the production design (Brent Mason) - everyone stepped up and I couldn't be more excited to have been apart of the this project.
Micah (Director/EP of Movie Magic) and I were talking about what DOOR TO DOOR represented. Since starting MMM, our passion has been creative collaboration. We've learned the price and balance of free flow and structure and this project affirms the proper balance inherent to this company.
We were blessed to have such a strong production team. I learned so much from everyone and will be continue to grow professionally as a result of it.
Having had this project monopolize my mind for the past week, I've put off addressing other worries, concerns and fears. Most specifically that change has, again, infiltrated my life. Daily air raids and attacks on my day-to-day life have become an inevitability. I lost my job at HSI Productions. After interning here over the summer, I was ecstatic to be brought on full time. It was still the slow season in production and while others were struggling to find work, I was lucky enough to land and stay here.
Over the last six months here, I have learned an invaluable amount of information about an industry previously unknown to me. I've also learned about myself and reconfirmed the passion I have for acting. The reason I went to college, the art that helped me survive high school - this is the reason I came here in the first place. I got comfortable at HSI. Steady pay, security, etc. I lost sight of my goals. Having figured all of this out - I told myself that I would leave by the end of the year. The more time passed, the less likely this was an option (especically in the wake of America's economic downfall).
I was called into the office early last week. Tuesday afternoon I was told that our company had not bounced back from the slow period like they had originally expected when I was brought in house. Being a 2nd Assistant, having worked here for a short period of time - these factors played into my being let go. I have to keep telling myself to not make this personal. She was very clear that this was in no way a reflection of the quality of my work, but a sign of the economic times.
I can be at peace with that. In many ways, this is a blessing. I'm trying to pray and keep cool from the beginning of this change - instead of my typical pattern of freaking out, "figuring it out myself" and then at the last moment looking to someone else in desperation. Let's just cut to the helping hand part. I now have the opportunity to start over and look at my life again from a fresh perspective. I'm not weighed down the 1000 more uncertainties of my residency like in August. Now I can focus on my career goals and a lifestyle that benefits my energy, passions and relationships.
So, in the wake of change, I find myself on the brink of something great. Something frighteningly new and fresh - yet, all too familiar. From this point; from on outset, I need to have faith, pray and trust a design bigger than my own. I will ride the wave of change into the new year - one already branded as the dawn of a new era for me, my country and the world.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Door to Door
So after months of preparation, Movie Magic Media Productions, LLC. will be filming DOOR TO DOOR.
Movie Magic Media was started by Micah Levin at Emerson College. Natalie Lewis, Colin Gallagher, Lena Leon and myself became the founding board when we embarked on filming a feature-length movie-musical entitled PUPPET COLLEGE. While at Emerson we produced several films.
Since then, Micah and I have graduated and brought the company to Los Angeles as a side company to our own careers. DOOR TO DOOR is the first independent venture for MMM while in LA. We have been working on this project for almost 4 months now and tonight we begin the preshoot. Friday through Sunday we will parttake in three long days of shooting.
As the line-producer (or any member of our team) I've been pouring my time and energy into making this the best product possible. Our hopes are to take DOOR TO DOOR around the festival circuit after its completion. I truly believe that the story, aesthetic and quality will make this a successful piece. The production design (Brent Mason) is incredible. He's built a house with interchangable parts (per different shots) at our location. He's also built a moving cart that unfolds into a portable stage; complete with pipeorgan.
The work has been increditably taxing and tiring; however, I now have so much faith in this project. I just can't wait to get on set and live it.
I'm so proud of our team and hopefully --- I'll be reporting back with pictures and great news after Sunday.
Movie Magic Media was started by Micah Levin at Emerson College. Natalie Lewis, Colin Gallagher, Lena Leon and myself became the founding board when we embarked on filming a feature-length movie-musical entitled PUPPET COLLEGE. While at Emerson we produced several films.
Since then, Micah and I have graduated and brought the company to Los Angeles as a side company to our own careers. DOOR TO DOOR is the first independent venture for MMM while in LA. We have been working on this project for almost 4 months now and tonight we begin the preshoot. Friday through Sunday we will parttake in three long days of shooting.
As the line-producer (or any member of our team) I've been pouring my time and energy into making this the best product possible. Our hopes are to take DOOR TO DOOR around the festival circuit after its completion. I truly believe that the story, aesthetic and quality will make this a successful piece. The production design (Brent Mason) is incredible. He's built a house with interchangable parts (per different shots) at our location. He's also built a moving cart that unfolds into a portable stage; complete with pipeorgan.
The work has been increditably taxing and tiring; however, I now have so much faith in this project. I just can't wait to get on set and live it.
I'm so proud of our team and hopefully --- I'll be reporting back with pictures and great news after Sunday.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Cardboard Testimonies
This Sunday at Oasis (church), the message was about getting back to "the Way"; that is, the plan God has for your life, following Him, etc.
I was struggling a little through the sermon, but the end portion really hit home. Pastor Phillip called up a group of people for a presentation called Cardboard Testimonies. While the music team played and sang, one by one, these people took center stage and held up their placards. The one side would have a word, phrase or sentence about their life before Christ. They then flipped the board over and it was the same regarding their life after Christ.
This really hit home as I've been struggling to get back to church after so long. Having grown up in the church and participating in almost every activity possible, religion was always a social aspiration for me. As I continue to grow and mature in my adult life, I'm finding that it's just me and God; no one else. I left the whole church thing behind for a while and now I'm getting back.
It's strange because I'm realizing that I have neglected the basics of Christianity. I have felt awkward and alone in church for a while, feeling like I was a leper in a sea of the saved. Seeing this presentation was almost debilitating. Here were these people, congregation members and leaders alike sharing their struggles with all of us. Their ailments ranged from "snobbish Christian attitude" to cancer to prostitution.
I couldn't believe it. All of these people struggle. Most with things far worse than any plight of mine. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten how broken we all are. I'm not the only one who feels like this or that struggles. It's incredible the things I've forgotten while trying to "find myself." I'm finding myself here more and more each week - and it's still a struggle. It doesn't disappear at church, but I'm given the strength to overcome my fears and anxieties and grow. I grow. I am growing. It's something I continually have to remind myself.
I was struggling a little through the sermon, but the end portion really hit home. Pastor Phillip called up a group of people for a presentation called Cardboard Testimonies. While the music team played and sang, one by one, these people took center stage and held up their placards. The one side would have a word, phrase or sentence about their life before Christ. They then flipped the board over and it was the same regarding their life after Christ.
This really hit home as I've been struggling to get back to church after so long. Having grown up in the church and participating in almost every activity possible, religion was always a social aspiration for me. As I continue to grow and mature in my adult life, I'm finding that it's just me and God; no one else. I left the whole church thing behind for a while and now I'm getting back.
It's strange because I'm realizing that I have neglected the basics of Christianity. I have felt awkward and alone in church for a while, feeling like I was a leper in a sea of the saved. Seeing this presentation was almost debilitating. Here were these people, congregation members and leaders alike sharing their struggles with all of us. Their ailments ranged from "snobbish Christian attitude" to cancer to prostitution.
I couldn't believe it. All of these people struggle. Most with things far worse than any plight of mine. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten how broken we all are. I'm not the only one who feels like this or that struggles. It's incredible the things I've forgotten while trying to "find myself." I'm finding myself here more and more each week - and it's still a struggle. It doesn't disappear at church, but I'm given the strength to overcome my fears and anxieties and grow. I grow. I am growing. It's something I continually have to remind myself.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
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