"I get by with a little help from my friends...."

I've been thinking about this Beatles anthem all week. It's amazing to think how time has passed since my formative years, elementary school, middle school, high school, college... now. Some memories are so clear, so vivid - it's as if I lived them yesterday. Other memories are fading exponentially quicker - faces from high school, parties with old friends, the list goes on. This week, I got coffee with one of my best friends from childhood, Noelle. I've been friends with her since middle school. Along with Jeff (my best friend from 2nd grade) and Meg (Noelle's best friend from birth), I have considered myself blessed with the amount of love and support they have provided. I don't know that I would have gotten by without the help of these (and other) friends.

My last few posts have been regarding the large transition that's taking place in my life. The other day, walking to my car after work, I told myself that I was allowed to give in to the anxiety boiling inside of me. I took five minutes to freak out, to relish in every "worse-case-scenario," and to tell myself that there was no answer. After five minutes had passed, I stopped. That was it - I'm no longer allowed to succumb to my anxiety or fear. I have been as proactive as possible about making something happen - and now I must relinquish my need for control and realize that this is no longer in my hands.

The next day, I got coffee with Noelle just to check in. I hadn't had the chance to go to church last week so we didn't get our weekly meeting. After expressing my coping methods with her - she looked at me and in earnest said, "This is the perfect time for God to test you faith, Mark!" Oddly enough, I had just gotten off the phone with Meg who said almost verbatim, the same thing.

What a fascinating --- and glaringly obvious --- concept. How typical of me not to fully grasp this idea on my own. I have no right to freak out. Have I ever found myself without previsions? I guess there's a reason that God said "with the faith of mustard seed, you can move mountains." I mean, if that's the case, shouldn't there be rouge ranges all over the place? Why aren't the Rockies in Florida or the Himalayas in Germany? It's because real faith is difficult. It's not for the faint of heart or the indifferent spirit. Faith means unconditional belief. That, my friends, is a rarity - if at all possible in the purest in form.

Sidenote: Coffee with Noelle at Susina Cafe was straight up East Coast winter stylin'. Warm lighting around a Christmas tree while listening to jazz music and sharing coffee. Sorry... was that too much too soon? It just got me fired up to hang out in Philly and get drinks, hot chocolate and walk down Chestnut St. in the freezing cold!

Anyway, to put a cap on this entry - I did my best to absorb what Meg and Noelle said, and the anxiety is now at a lull. I got a call yesterday to go on set this weekend in Palm Springs at a great rate and got word for a few other freelancing possibilities. If I can book a few more - I'll be good until the end of January.

Ask you shall recieve. Check your motives for these requests. Have a little faith...

... and thank your friends.