The Modern Handmaid's Tale of the 2016 Election
7 years ago
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
It's been seven months since my last flight. My destination was anew home in Los Angeles. All of my flights are delayed ... It's good to go back.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Hey All!
I promised myself that after graduating college, I would keep in touch with the people that made a difference in my life up to this point. I penned this list on the plane to Los Angeles 7 months ago. A lot has happened since graduating Emerson College in May. Some things haven't changed much. I wanted to take this chance to first and foremost say thank you for everything you taught me and the skills you pushed me to acquire. It sounds contrived, but really, I wouldn't be where I am now without your guidance and help!
I went into Emerson College as an Acting BFA and rather than re-auditioning at the end of my second year for the studio, I decided that I would switch to the BA program and graduate a year early. So, I graduated this past May with a degree in Theatre Studies: Acting and Directing. I packed up in Boston and 4 days later moved to Los Angeles. Although I had walked in graduation, I spent my first two months in Los Angeles participating in Emerson's LA Program. I did my best to use this time as a launching pad for my transition in my new home. As many of you know, I spent the past several summers working in Los Angeles - living in cheap apartments and figuring out the traffic patterns. I was lucky enough to work for companies like HBO, Abrams Artist Agency and at Sunset Gower Studios.
This summer, in accordance with the LA Program, I took on another full time internship along with two classes (The Business of Acting and a Screenwriter's Workshop). So five days a week, I worked at HSI Productions (commercial and music video production) as an assistant to the Executive Producer of Music Video and the VP of the company from 9-6 and then went to class in Burbank from 7-10:30. Needless to say, this summer wasn't much of a break. I had a great opportunity though. I was lucky enough to graduate early and move to Los Angeles without the stress of finding a job, apartment or car immediately. Instead, these two months allowed me to fashion all of this and a life for myself before the last day of class - making for a pretty seamless transition.
Sounds like roses right? Wrong. I can honestly say that these first few months were some of the most stressful in my life. Panicked job interviews, getting a good deal on an apartment - trying to feel at home... all of these things severely weighed me down. I ended up staying with HSI Productions as a full time 2nd Assistant. I got into this entirely new world of production I'd never even considered, but after months of working here, my emotional changes were becoming a larger force than the physical changes. I kept asking myself why I moved to LA in the first place? What were my passions. I learned that although I have man interests and many career goals - the people that rise to the top are those who focus on one thing. They give 110% to a dream and pursue it at all costs.
I have fought my whole life over this. I gave my maximum effort to many areas - I stretched myself thin. I became a jack of all trade (master of none!) I knew that I had to take this opportunity - this time new life - to change my focus to one area. I came to LA to act. With this in mind, I planned on quitting the security of my job at HSI to pursue acting and waiting tables. How fortunate that HSI beat me to the punch? In the wake of the economic downturn I was laid off as my company was loosing money. They were nice enough to promise me at least 3 day weeks until the end of the year. What did this mean for me? Another frantic job hunt! Getting creative with my finances! I decided that I would hit freelance production full force - PAing on sets, trying to get gigs as a production coordinator - on the track to becoming a producer.
It's funny how we panic when our lives are turned upside down. We scramble and push to regain control over the pieces of our lives, but when it comes down to it, the pieces fall back into place on their own. On the last day of my full time position I was walking out the door when one of the executives stopped me. One of the director's assistants had decided to quit and move from LA with his family. This left the position open. I was to sit desk temporarily. The next week, it became a permanent position. I know what you're thinking: "But Mark! What about pursuing your dreams and sticking to one passion?" I decided "Screw my dreams! I need money!" Actually, I 'm kidding. I kept the job because I sat down with the director and explained to him my realizations. He encouraged me to leave the office and get away from my desk. He wants me to turn my cell phone off during auditions so he can't bother me. He was me to produce my one work. There's a lot of downtime as a director's assistant - as he is often not in the office due to work and travel. I have been blessed with a job that every actor wants - steady pay and ultimate flexibility.
So this is where I am now. After seven months of panic and worrying and a big, toothy grin, I feel like I've finally arrived. I have a wonderful apartment that feels like home. I have a job that gives me the freedom to pursue my dreams 110%. And I'm slowly building a life here with friends and relationships.
Aside from the stress and anxiety of being a senior in college, graduating, making a transcontinental move, finding a home and a job ... 2008 has been a year of emotional growth as well. My heart has never been heavier to make a change. After my best friend's father passed away this past spring, I saw a drastic shift in my life. Suddenly, I was an adult. I sit at my desk sometimes just thinking about how I got here. That's very hard to do. When you're in grade school and middle school, high school and college - there's an end goal. There's your 13th birthday, then the 16th, 18th and 21st. There's parties and privileges. There's the first lead you get in the school play. There's the first time your parents let you go to the mall alone with your friends or your first drink.
And now? It feels like I'm free-falling. I know I'm moving, but I can't tell which way is up. I'm addicted to the freedom, but sometimes I'm frightened by it's inevitability. I've changed so much this past year. I'm realizing that adult friendships aren't about convenience like they are in high school - they are about accommodating the lives of many people. You work for the friendships you love - even if they live 3000 miles away. I'm realizing that my life is going to keep moving forward despite me. I've found a relationship with God that I fell away from for so long. I found a great church and community that makes me feel less alone and realize that everyone has problems and things that hold them back.
Most importantly, I realized how blessed I've been throughout my life. People like you were put in my way and affected the the direction of my journey. You taught me something that still rings in my head every time I make a decision. I've seen victory and I've seen tragedy. I've been brought to the edge of my will, but in the end, I've never NOT been provided for. I've realized that life is a battle with faith - having faith that things will work themselves out, that you will not perish, that life is about taking chances and taking a leap of faith towards an unknown outcome. In this way we become fearless. I'm not saying that I'm fearless - but i'm well on my way and this is, in part, because of you.
So as the year winds down and we celebrate with our families - I want to say thank you for giving me courage and helping me this far. It hasn't gone unnoticed.
Have a Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year!
Best,
Mark Cramer
I promised myself that after graduating college, I would keep in touch with the people that made a difference in my life up to this point. I penned this list on the plane to Los Angeles 7 months ago. A lot has happened since graduating Emerson College in May. Some things haven't changed much. I wanted to take this chance to first and foremost say thank you for everything you taught me and the skills you pushed me to acquire. It sounds contrived, but really, I wouldn't be where I am now without your guidance and help!
I went into Emerson College as an Acting BFA and rather than re-auditioning at the end of my second year for the studio, I decided that I would switch to the BA program and graduate a year early. So, I graduated this past May with a degree in Theatre Studies: Acting and Directing. I packed up in Boston and 4 days later moved to Los Angeles. Although I had walked in graduation, I spent my first two months in Los Angeles participating in Emerson's LA Program. I did my best to use this time as a launching pad for my transition in my new home. As many of you know, I spent the past several summers working in Los Angeles - living in cheap apartments and figuring out the traffic patterns. I was lucky enough to work for companies like HBO, Abrams Artist Agency and at Sunset Gower Studios.
This summer, in accordance with the LA Program, I took on another full time internship along with two classes (The Business of Acting and a Screenwriter's Workshop). So five days a week, I worked at HSI Productions (commercial and music video production) as an assistant to the Executive Producer of Music Video and the VP of the company from 9-6 and then went to class in Burbank from 7-10:30. Needless to say, this summer wasn't much of a break. I had a great opportunity though. I was lucky enough to graduate early and move to Los Angeles without the stress of finding a job, apartment or car immediately. Instead, these two months allowed me to fashion all of this and a life for myself before the last day of class - making for a pretty seamless transition.
Sounds like roses right? Wrong. I can honestly say that these first few months were some of the most stressful in my life. Panicked job interviews, getting a good deal on an apartment - trying to feel at home... all of these things severely weighed me down. I ended up staying with HSI Productions as a full time 2nd Assistant. I got into this entirely new world of production I'd never even considered, but after months of working here, my emotional changes were becoming a larger force than the physical changes. I kept asking myself why I moved to LA in the first place? What were my passions. I learned that although I have man interests and many career goals - the people that rise to the top are those who focus on one thing. They give 110% to a dream and pursue it at all costs.
I have fought my whole life over this. I gave my maximum effort to many areas - I stretched myself thin. I became a jack of all trade (master of none!) I knew that I had to take this opportunity - this time new life - to change my focus to one area. I came to LA to act. With this in mind, I planned on quitting the security of my job at HSI to pursue acting and waiting tables. How fortunate that HSI beat me to the punch? In the wake of the economic downturn I was laid off as my company was loosing money. They were nice enough to promise me at least 3 day weeks until the end of the year. What did this mean for me? Another frantic job hunt! Getting creative with my finances! I decided that I would hit freelance production full force - PAing on sets, trying to get gigs as a production coordinator - on the track to becoming a producer.
It's funny how we panic when our lives are turned upside down. We scramble and push to regain control over the pieces of our lives, but when it comes down to it, the pieces fall back into place on their own. On the last day of my full time position I was walking out the door when one of the executives stopped me. One of the director's assistants had decided to quit and move from LA with his family. This left the position open. I was to sit desk temporarily. The next week, it became a permanent position. I know what you're thinking: "But Mark! What about pursuing your dreams and sticking to one passion?" I decided "Screw my dreams! I need money!" Actually, I 'm kidding. I kept the job because I sat down with the director and explained to him my realizations. He encouraged me to leave the office and get away from my desk. He wants me to turn my cell phone off during auditions so he can't bother me. He was me to produce my one work. There's a lot of downtime as a director's assistant - as he is often not in the office due to work and travel. I have been blessed with a job that every actor wants - steady pay and ultimate flexibility.
So this is where I am now. After seven months of panic and worrying and a big, toothy grin, I feel like I've finally arrived. I have a wonderful apartment that feels like home. I have a job that gives me the freedom to pursue my dreams 110%. And I'm slowly building a life here with friends and relationships.
Aside from the stress and anxiety of being a senior in college, graduating, making a transcontinental move, finding a home and a job ... 2008 has been a year of emotional growth as well. My heart has never been heavier to make a change. After my best friend's father passed away this past spring, I saw a drastic shift in my life. Suddenly, I was an adult. I sit at my desk sometimes just thinking about how I got here. That's very hard to do. When you're in grade school and middle school, high school and college - there's an end goal. There's your 13th birthday, then the 16th, 18th and 21st. There's parties and privileges. There's the first lead you get in the school play. There's the first time your parents let you go to the mall alone with your friends or your first drink.
And now? It feels like I'm free-falling. I know I'm moving, but I can't tell which way is up. I'm addicted to the freedom, but sometimes I'm frightened by it's inevitability. I've changed so much this past year. I'm realizing that adult friendships aren't about convenience like they are in high school - they are about accommodating the lives of many people. You work for the friendships you love - even if they live 3000 miles away. I'm realizing that my life is going to keep moving forward despite me. I've found a relationship with God that I fell away from for so long. I found a great church and community that makes me feel less alone and realize that everyone has problems and things that hold them back.
Most importantly, I realized how blessed I've been throughout my life. People like you were put in my way and affected the the direction of my journey. You taught me something that still rings in my head every time I make a decision. I've seen victory and I've seen tragedy. I've been brought to the edge of my will, but in the end, I've never NOT been provided for. I've realized that life is a battle with faith - having faith that things will work themselves out, that you will not perish, that life is about taking chances and taking a leap of faith towards an unknown outcome. In this way we become fearless. I'm not saying that I'm fearless - but i'm well on my way and this is, in part, because of you.
So as the year winds down and we celebrate with our families - I want to say thank you for giving me courage and helping me this far. It hasn't gone unnoticed.
Have a Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year!
Best,
Mark Cramer
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Holiday in Los Angeles
This holiday season has been my first away from my family. I didn't spend Thanksgiving in King of Prussia - not even the East Coast or on some vacation. I had a great dinner at a friend's family's, but it was still a little sad and, yet, another benchmark in my adult life. I'm sure there will be many holidays spent away from home and my family. It seems like we're getting further and further away from one another.
That being said, I've been preparing (physically and mentally) for my first rip home since moving to Los Angeles. I will be flying into Philadelphia December 20 until January 1. In addition to the normal things that make going home exciting my best friend/roommate from college will also be visiting, I will get to see my family from Atlanta and I will travel up to NY for the New Year. There's a lot to look forward to and I'm getting more and more antsy to get on that plane.
It's been nearly 7 months since moving here in the 3rd week of May. I cannot believe that that much time has passed. So much has changed. So much has stayed the same. I think I'm most excited to be out of Los Angeles for an extended period of time to get some perspective on my life. Everyday, the world around me is laying out their accomplishments, saluting their next step up the proverbial ladder and talking about the future, careers, etc.. I'm guilty of the same practice and honestly, I'm excited to go home and be with my brother and sister and best friends from childhood and reinforce where I came from.
I think this is the most crucial part of getting older. The only way to know where you're going in life is to remember what came before it; what were the steps I took to get here. Life moves so quickly that sometimes I can't remember all of the steps. Suddenly, I have a great job or something awful happens and I don't know what led up to the point. It's easy to forget the hard stuff when things are good. I think going home will remind me of all of the good stuff and the bad stuff and make me even more grateful for the life I have. That's my hope.
Ok, that's a huge tangent that I didn't intend on writing. With the looming holidays, I've been getting into the spirit. I'm a big sucker for this time of year. I've been listening to Josh Groban's NOEL on repeat and putting my fireplace on (even when it's to warm for it). I had my office holiday party yesterday - and even if that sounds (too adult) and lame, it was yet another benchmark in redefining this part of the year for me.
I leave you with some embarrassing pictures of my ice skating - walking on the frozen pond in the Boston Gardens drunk doesn't count unfortunately - for the first time in maybe 10 years. The beach was a few blocks away.
Posed.
Not so much. Ho Ho ho.
That being said, I've been preparing (physically and mentally) for my first rip home since moving to Los Angeles. I will be flying into Philadelphia December 20 until January 1. In addition to the normal things that make going home exciting my best friend/roommate from college will also be visiting, I will get to see my family from Atlanta and I will travel up to NY for the New Year. There's a lot to look forward to and I'm getting more and more antsy to get on that plane.
It's been nearly 7 months since moving here in the 3rd week of May. I cannot believe that that much time has passed. So much has changed. So much has stayed the same. I think I'm most excited to be out of Los Angeles for an extended period of time to get some perspective on my life. Everyday, the world around me is laying out their accomplishments, saluting their next step up the proverbial ladder and talking about the future, careers, etc.. I'm guilty of the same practice and honestly, I'm excited to go home and be with my brother and sister and best friends from childhood and reinforce where I came from.
I think this is the most crucial part of getting older. The only way to know where you're going in life is to remember what came before it; what were the steps I took to get here. Life moves so quickly that sometimes I can't remember all of the steps. Suddenly, I have a great job or something awful happens and I don't know what led up to the point. It's easy to forget the hard stuff when things are good. I think going home will remind me of all of the good stuff and the bad stuff and make me even more grateful for the life I have. That's my hope.
Ok, that's a huge tangent that I didn't intend on writing. With the looming holidays, I've been getting into the spirit. I'm a big sucker for this time of year. I've been listening to Josh Groban's NOEL on repeat and putting my fireplace on (even when it's to warm for it). I had my office holiday party yesterday - and even if that sounds (too adult) and lame, it was yet another benchmark in redefining this part of the year for me.
I leave you with some embarrassing pictures of my ice skating - walking on the frozen pond in the Boston Gardens drunk doesn't count unfortunately - for the first time in maybe 10 years. The beach was a few blocks away.
Posed.
Not so much. Ho Ho ho.
Monday, December 8, 2008
D2D Teaser
Here's a first look at DOOR TO DOOR! I can't believe we're in post already...
It might be better to click right to Youtube and then select to watch in HD.
It might be better to click right to Youtube and then select to watch in HD.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Stumble
All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter
All that is gold goes not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost:
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
-J.R.R. Tolkien
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh yeah...
I just realized that I left something big out of the last few posts.
So, I've been writing about how I'll be leaving HSI and that I've been making the transition into freelancing, etc.. Well, an interesting turn of events has changed my "plan" yet again. Two Fridays ago, during my last full week, one of the execs hollered (yes, that's the correct verb) for me. One of our director's assistants had decided to move to Maine with his wife, leaving the position open. He proposed that I step in on a trial period as his assistant. I did, and all parties have agreed that this will become my permanent (or as some would say --- "permalance" --- permanent freelance. Just me? Ok anyway...) position at HSI.
I know what you're thinking :
"But I thought you were better off leaving?"
"Weren't things better this way?"
"What about that fresh start in the right direction!?"
Well yes, I was looking for all of that and I would say that my leaving HSI would have been a blessing in disguise (as are most drastic, unexpected changes); however, this job is much different from my previous job as a 2nd Assistant upstairs. I've now moved downstairs to work as Simon Cole's assistant. Working with the VP and EP of Music Video was much more demanding on a day to day basis. Simon constantly works in LA, NY and the UK. What does that mean? Well, it means that I have a great deal more time to myself as his needs/tasks can be dealt with on on Blackberry and/or computer (aka anywhere). Simon sat me down and explained that I should use this job to my advantage. Work my butt off for him and, in the inevitbale downtime, work my butt off for myself; go on auditions, produce, write, etc..
This job has been an enormous, unexpected blessing. I now have been given the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. The stability of steady work with a great company and the freedom to actively persue my own interests and careers goals. So, with the new year coming, my previous goals remain the same: begin 2009 with a fresh perspective and enlivened spirit to pursue my dreams and remember the reasons I set out here in the first place.
So, I've been writing about how I'll be leaving HSI and that I've been making the transition into freelancing, etc.. Well, an interesting turn of events has changed my "plan" yet again. Two Fridays ago, during my last full week, one of the execs hollered (yes, that's the correct verb) for me. One of our director's assistants had decided to move to Maine with his wife, leaving the position open. He proposed that I step in on a trial period as his assistant. I did, and all parties have agreed that this will become my permanent (or as some would say --- "permalance" --- permanent freelance. Just me? Ok anyway...) position at HSI.
I know what you're thinking :
"But I thought you were better off leaving?"
"Weren't things better this way?"
"What about that fresh start in the right direction!?"
Well yes, I was looking for all of that and I would say that my leaving HSI would have been a blessing in disguise (as are most drastic, unexpected changes); however, this job is much different from my previous job as a 2nd Assistant upstairs. I've now moved downstairs to work as Simon Cole's assistant. Working with the VP and EP of Music Video was much more demanding on a day to day basis. Simon constantly works in LA, NY and the UK. What does that mean? Well, it means that I have a great deal more time to myself as his needs/tasks can be dealt with on on Blackberry and/or computer (aka anywhere). Simon sat me down and explained that I should use this job to my advantage. Work my butt off for him and, in the inevitbale downtime, work my butt off for myself; go on auditions, produce, write, etc..
This job has been an enormous, unexpected blessing. I now have been given the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. The stability of steady work with a great company and the freedom to actively persue my own interests and careers goals. So, with the new year coming, my previous goals remain the same: begin 2009 with a fresh perspective and enlivened spirit to pursue my dreams and remember the reasons I set out here in the first place.
Holy Crap... 6 months!
When did December happen? When did I move to LA? When did I graduate college for that matter?
I can't believe that it has been 6 months since I've moved to Los Angeles. We're working on the first week of December and I can't even begin to think about how I made it through this year. The list is too long.
There have been a lot of changes this year. Change in '08 wasn't just a successful political slogan. There have been a lot of trials and hurdles and there have been a lot of blessings. I have worked harder and harder on trusting God to carry me through the good and the bad and the ugly. Everything from graduating college, moving across the country, loosing loved ones: the more I think about it all - the more unbelievable it seems. The things that the human spirit can endure! I look, not at myself in amazement, but I look at my friends - losing parents, trying to have children, moving on into our adult lives. 2008 will really be the year I remembered becoming an adult.
So how do things change? That's the point of this blog, I guess. Superficially, I think this is meant to chronicle my adjusting to professional life in LA; but, deeper than that it's about the dynamic and pangs of adulthood.
More important than the physical changes are the emotional changes in the nuances of relationships with friends and family that have proven to be the most detrimental to my growth here. After my best friend's father died earlier this year, I had to rush back from Boston to Philadelphia having just returned from Spring Break. This hiccup in the final stretch of my college life became one of the most trying, yet defining moments of my life. For the first time in a very long time, my 3 best friends from childhood and I all got to really spend time with one another. In the wake of this loss, we offered each other our fears and hopes and theories about life. We all acknowledge that this was the catalyst of change... suddenly, we're adults, dealing with adult issues and our adult lives.
Suddenly, we have to balance many more things than a social calender. College doesn't do adulthood justice. There is little appropriate preparation for the "real world." I think that term should be stricken from our Generation MTV vernacular. The real world has nothing to do with high school, college or some other traditional checkpoint in the road of life. It's not a physical diploma, but an emotional graduation. You realize that friendship and love aren't things of convenience. You work hard for the people that mean a lot to you - even if they are 3000 miles away.
I feel like I've graduated onto this part of my life. It took one very hard year, but it happened. I thank God every day for the things I've been given. I even thank (or try to remember to) Him for the hard things; because, without the dark, I'd never see the light.
________________________________________________________
Here's a few excerpts from the Book of James. I've been reading the Bible more in this effort to reconnect with my faith. This is another factor in 2008 that's made all of the difference in my life. I found these versus to be the most helpful.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of faith develops perservearance" 1:2-3
"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow... If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 4:14
"Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" 5:16
I can't believe that it has been 6 months since I've moved to Los Angeles. We're working on the first week of December and I can't even begin to think about how I made it through this year. The list is too long.
There have been a lot of changes this year. Change in '08 wasn't just a successful political slogan. There have been a lot of trials and hurdles and there have been a lot of blessings. I have worked harder and harder on trusting God to carry me through the good and the bad and the ugly. Everything from graduating college, moving across the country, loosing loved ones: the more I think about it all - the more unbelievable it seems. The things that the human spirit can endure! I look, not at myself in amazement, but I look at my friends - losing parents, trying to have children, moving on into our adult lives. 2008 will really be the year I remembered becoming an adult.
So how do things change? That's the point of this blog, I guess. Superficially, I think this is meant to chronicle my adjusting to professional life in LA; but, deeper than that it's about the dynamic and pangs of adulthood.
More important than the physical changes are the emotional changes in the nuances of relationships with friends and family that have proven to be the most detrimental to my growth here. After my best friend's father died earlier this year, I had to rush back from Boston to Philadelphia having just returned from Spring Break. This hiccup in the final stretch of my college life became one of the most trying, yet defining moments of my life. For the first time in a very long time, my 3 best friends from childhood and I all got to really spend time with one another. In the wake of this loss, we offered each other our fears and hopes and theories about life. We all acknowledge that this was the catalyst of change... suddenly, we're adults, dealing with adult issues and our adult lives.
Suddenly, we have to balance many more things than a social calender. College doesn't do adulthood justice. There is little appropriate preparation for the "real world." I think that term should be stricken from our Generation MTV vernacular. The real world has nothing to do with high school, college or some other traditional checkpoint in the road of life. It's not a physical diploma, but an emotional graduation. You realize that friendship and love aren't things of convenience. You work hard for the people that mean a lot to you - even if they are 3000 miles away.
I feel like I've graduated onto this part of my life. It took one very hard year, but it happened. I thank God every day for the things I've been given. I even thank (or try to remember to) Him for the hard things; because, without the dark, I'd never see the light.
________________________________________________________
Here's a few excerpts from the Book of James. I've been reading the Bible more in this effort to reconnect with my faith. This is another factor in 2008 that's made all of the difference in my life. I found these versus to be the most helpful.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of faith develops perservearance" 1:2-3
"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow... If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 4:14
"Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" 5:16
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