Email

Hey All!

I promised myself that after graduating college, I would keep in touch with the people that made a difference in my life up to this point. I penned this list on the plane to Los Angeles 7 months ago. A lot has happened since graduating Emerson College in May. Some things haven't changed much. I wanted to take this chance to first and foremost say thank you for everything you taught me and the skills you pushed me to acquire. It sounds contrived, but really, I wouldn't be where I am now without your guidance and help!

I went into Emerson College as an Acting BFA and rather than re-auditioning at the end of my second year for the studio, I decided that I would switch to the BA program and graduate a year early. So, I graduated this past May with a degree in Theatre Studies: Acting and Directing. I packed up in Boston and 4 days later moved to Los Angeles. Although I had walked in graduation, I spent my first two months in Los Angeles participating in Emerson's LA Program. I did my best to use this time as a launching pad for my transition in my new home. As many of you know, I spent the past several summers working in Los Angeles - living in cheap apartments and figuring out the traffic patterns. I was lucky enough to work for companies like HBO, Abrams Artist Agency and at Sunset Gower Studios.

This summer, in accordance with the LA Program, I took on another full time internship along with two classes (The Business of Acting and a Screenwriter's Workshop). So five days a week, I worked at HSI Productions (commercial and music video production) as an assistant to the Executive Producer of Music Video and the VP of the company from 9-6 and then went to class in Burbank from 7-10:30. Needless to say, this summer wasn't much of a break. I had a great opportunity though. I was lucky enough to graduate early and move to Los Angeles without the stress of finding a job, apartment or car immediately. Instead, these two months allowed me to fashion all of this and a life for myself before the last day of class - making for a pretty seamless transition.

Sounds like roses right? Wrong. I can honestly say that these first few months were some of the most stressful in my life. Panicked job interviews, getting a good deal on an apartment - trying to feel at home... all of these things severely weighed me down. I ended up staying with HSI Productions as a full time 2nd Assistant. I got into this entirely new world of production I'd never even considered, but after months of working here, my emotional changes were becoming a larger force than the physical changes. I kept asking myself why I moved to LA in the first place? What were my passions. I learned that although I have man interests and many career goals - the people that rise to the top are those who focus on one thing. They give 110% to a dream and pursue it at all costs.

I have fought my whole life over this. I gave my maximum effort to many areas - I stretched myself thin. I became a jack of all trade (master of none!) I knew that I had to take this opportunity - this time new life - to change my focus to one area. I came to LA to act. With this in mind, I planned on quitting the security of my job at HSI to pursue acting and waiting tables. How fortunate that HSI beat me to the punch? In the wake of the economic downturn I was laid off as my company was loosing money. They were nice enough to promise me at least 3 day weeks until the end of the year. What did this mean for me? Another frantic job hunt! Getting creative with my finances! I decided that I would hit freelance production full force - PAing on sets, trying to get gigs as a production coordinator - on the track to becoming a producer.

It's funny how we panic when our lives are turned upside down. We scramble and push to regain control over the pieces of our lives, but when it comes down to it, the pieces fall back into place on their own. On the last day of my full time position I was walking out the door when one of the executives stopped me. One of the director's assistants had decided to quit and move from LA with his family. This left the position open. I was to sit desk temporarily. The next week, it became a permanent position. I know what you're thinking: "But Mark! What about pursuing your dreams and sticking to one passion?" I decided "Screw my dreams! I need money!" Actually, I 'm kidding. I kept the job because I sat down with the director and explained to him my realizations. He encouraged me to leave the office and get away from my desk. He wants me to turn my cell phone off during auditions so he can't bother me. He was me to produce my one work. There's a lot of downtime as a director's assistant - as he is often not in the office due to work and travel. I have been blessed with a job that every actor wants - steady pay and ultimate flexibility.

So this is where I am now. After seven months of panic and worrying and a big, toothy grin, I feel like I've finally arrived. I have a wonderful apartment that feels like home. I have a job that gives me the freedom to pursue my dreams 110%. And I'm slowly building a life here with friends and relationships.

Aside from the stress and anxiety of being a senior in college, graduating, making a transcontinental move, finding a home and a job ... 2008 has been a year of emotional growth as well. My heart has never been heavier to make a change. After my best friend's father passed away this past spring, I saw a drastic shift in my life. Suddenly, I was an adult. I sit at my desk sometimes just thinking about how I got here. That's very hard to do. When you're in grade school and middle school, high school and college - there's an end goal. There's your 13th birthday, then the 16th, 18th and 21st. There's parties and privileges. There's the first lead you get in the school play. There's the first time your parents let you go to the mall alone with your friends or your first drink.

And now? It feels like I'm free-falling. I know I'm moving, but I can't tell which way is up. I'm addicted to the freedom, but sometimes I'm frightened by it's inevitability. I've changed so much this past year. I'm realizing that adult friendships aren't about convenience like they are in high school - they are about accommodating the lives of many people. You work for the friendships you love - even if they live 3000 miles away. I'm realizing that my life is going to keep moving forward despite me. I've found a relationship with God that I fell away from for so long. I found a great church and community that makes me feel less alone and realize that everyone has problems and things that hold them back.

Most importantly, I realized how blessed I've been throughout my life. People like you were put in my way and affected the the direction of my journey. You taught me something that still rings in my head every time I make a decision. I've seen victory and I've seen tragedy. I've been brought to the edge of my will, but in the end, I've never NOT been provided for. I've realized that life is a battle with faith - having faith that things will work themselves out, that you will not perish, that life is about taking chances and taking a leap of faith towards an unknown outcome. In this way we become fearless. I'm not saying that I'm fearless - but i'm well on my way and this is, in part, because of you.

So as the year winds down and we celebrate with our families - I want to say thank you for giving me courage and helping me this far. It hasn't gone unnoticed.

Have a Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year!

Best,

Mark Cramer