"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself"
                                                                                  -Charlie Chaplin

Monday, January 5, 2009

Lesson Two: Family

I realized this break that my family is getting older. My brother turned 21 this week. He’s the last of  the kids. I watched carefully this last two weeks as our family dynamic continued to shape and morph into something completely new. I’m constantly reminded of this by my mom and dad.

“Now, every time you come home, I’ll look a little bit older.”

My mother insists on the reminders of the frailty of life, mostly because of her Christian beliefs – that this world will pass away and all will be left is us with God. The reminders were a little sharper this time around. My sister and I would talk about our jobs, home life, etc. We worried about the future of our nuclear family – where were all going to end up? When would we see each other? Was Jesse’s 21st birthday the signal to the end of an era.

Again and again, I watched as things were redefined – the holidays, family dinners, the effect of these on each of our emotional lives (all vastly different). Things seem more complicated. Christmas isn’t just a question of what gift will I receive. Now it’s about the people, the baggage, the stress, the spending money. I found myself in a perpetually stressed state as Christmas came closer and closer. I didn’t expect to feel this way. My mom insisted that’s how the holidays were the older you got. It wasn't until I sat down under the tree to exchange gifts that I breathed and indulged in the traditions.

For many people this time of the year is lonely, uncertain, a constant reminder of everything we’ve lost. I’m fortuante enough that this is not the case for my family. Through all of the stress and the perplexity about our evolving dynamic, I saw how strong my family remains. Yes, we're changing, but we're always growing, building new relationships that will carry us into the better part of our lives.

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