The New Relationship(s)

re⋅la⋅tion⋅ship

  [ri-ley-shuhn-ship]

–noun

1.	a connection, association, or involvement.

2.	connection between persons by blood or marriage.

3.	an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.

4.	a sexual involvement; affair.

Over the course of my weekend, this particular word presented itself in a multitude of forms, fashions, and functions. In nearly every sense of the word, I was forced to pry a little deeper into my existing - and subsequently past and forthcoming - relationships as Friday turned into Sunday. What I discovered are two undeniable truths:

1) Fortunately, I learn from experience. Relationships will only get better: the more I learn and experience, the more I grow.

2) Unfortunately, I learn from experience. The past is past and I can't change the relationships I've messed up and the people I've hurt.

Now that being said, I think the former outweighs the latter in a myriad of ways and should be held in a much higher regard. Still, any human with any sort of life experience will tell you that the tiniest drop of 'negative' can poison an ocean of 'positive.'

I found myself examining each definition in the above excerpt, inspecting and defining my interaction and interfacing with....

1) acquaintances, my day to day life, my world

2) my family

3) my friends and colleagues

4) my love life

I think each of these warrant their own entry; however all of them have a few core things in common. I'm realizing on a deeper level the evolution of the new relationships in my life. Whether I met you yesterday or have known you my entire life, there's a new code of conduct that applies to my life and as I function now.

First of all, I'm beyond my "transition" period in Los Angeles. As it's to be expected, any big change requires a certain amount of self-involvement in ones life in order to guard yourself and establish roots and a new identity. Unfortunately, this mechanism of survival leaves many in a the choppy wake of narcism and narrow-mindedness. Like I said, this period of my life (for now) is complete, and I have no excuse to treat any person, family member or loved one with any amount of emotional disregard.

Next, I've was reminded at the sermon this week to always stay invested in my relationships, even when things get bad. I've been a firm believer of this my whole life, but there have been instances in my recent history where I've really neglected this. I've "taken off" from many of my relationships; a few hours can been as detrimental as a few days where this matter is concerned. One minute is enough to destroy even the most established relationship. Ultimately, some occasions will need to end in a departure, but as a rule, I find that the benefit of the doubt and/or a second chance will leave you happier in the long run.

Finally, encourage and value the people you're with. The older I get the easier people seem to turn from one another when they feel their value is treated with disregard. The indescretions we experience in childhood and adolescence, the unsavory actions we permit in those relationships simply do not apply anymore. Whether this is associated with the gradual relief of social pressures or a general wear in patience, I find that special attention must be paid where egos are concerned. At the most basic level, we should lift each other up and support each other. This seemingly simple rule is one often neglected and hard to regularly maintain even in the most earnest friend.

As I see it, the new rules of the relationship will vary from person to person. These are my own assertions, although I do think they hold at least some validity for all. Take what you will. Add what you will. Leave what you will. It's all about experience. It's entirely about you. And it has nothing at all to do with you.