Rush

Halloween is a few days away and it's definitely a scarier world.

I can feel my new life, filled with adventure, commitment and a 9 to 5 shifting underneath me. Is it the San Andreas Fault? No. It's my own neurosis shaking me stupid. My need for control is unbelievable, insatiable - it's poison.

I go through these cycles of peace and understanding with the passing hours. Day by day is enough and the future is only a product of now. Those feelings will pass and are replaced by my incessant need to plan plan plan. It starts small: "What am I doing this weekend?" Then it grows. I start kicking people out of my life who make me feel like I'm loosing control.

It's just my nature. I can't really escape it - though I shouldn't ignore who I am. I think part of my new life out here; that is, determining the manner of my adult life, is figuring out the balance. How do I use this quality to my advantage instead of stifling it for a period and then allowing it to explode and consume my life.

Breath and relax.

Stop making people wreckage in the wake of my mind.

Pray.

Praying has become really crucial in life.