Friends, Lovers or Nothing

I've been listening to songs from John Mayer's upcoming album "Battle Studies," and I'm finding each song more and more applicable to my own experiences. It's been a while since I've connected to an artists' words so immediately or without straining to find meaning. Here's one that hit home a little more than the others:

And the lyrics...

Now that we are over

As the loving kind
We'll be dreaming ways
To keep the good alive

Only when we want is not
A compromise
Ill be pouring tears
Into your drying eyes

Friends, lovers, or nothing
There can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
We'll never be the inbetween
So give it up

You whisper "Come on over"
Cause your two drinks in
But in the morning I will say
Good-bye again

Think we'll never fall into
The jealous game
The streets will flood
With blood of those who felt the same

Friends, lovers, or nothing
You see
There can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
We'll never an inbetween
So give it up

Friends, lovers, or nothing
We can really only ever be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
Don't you know
We'll never be the inbetween
So give it up

No we'll never the inbetween
So give it up

See Me Now

An endless cycle in the mind

It wanes and grows, it never dies

Each one adds one feeling more

The heart pounds. Still before.

See me now, what you've missed

watch my body, feel my kiss

hold your arms, to yourself

think of me, of what we felt...

Time can heal, time can break

unravel love, but never stake

your claim in me - exhaustion brings.

My heart unwinds. Your passion sings

See me now, what you miss

feel my body, taste my kiss

press my arms to yourself

think of me, of what we felt...

The sun shines differently today for you

but I know these words will never do

can love just vanish and fade

no, time can only change, what we have already made

See me now, what you'll miss

Heat my body, take my kiss

press your arms to the sky

think of me, watch me fly

See me now, what you'll miss

Heat my body, take my kiss

press your arms to the sky

think of me, watch me fly

watch me fly.

Quiet Fix

Like I mentioned before, I've been spending more of my time focusing on music as a creative outlet. As I have no piano easily at my fingertips, I've been proactive about writing lyrics and then working with friends (who do have these melodic means) to add music. Not the most pragmatic way to go about penning a song, but I'm working with what I've got! Here are some lyrics I've been working on. I'm a few songs in now...

-------------------

Tropics line the streets

Wheels and pavement meet

The earth beneath me quakes

I feel my body shake and...

Each day I search for a quiet fix

An easy sign

Slow passing time

To understand what I've missed

But I'm a wanderer. I'm a warrior

Marching towards something new.

I'm a pioneer, in spite of fear

Give me the peace I'm due

This traveler in search of a clearer view

Buildings line the streets

Cabs provide a steady fleet

Time passes in the Square

Passing me by without a care and...

Each day I search for a quiet fix

An easy sign

Slow passing time

To understand what I've missed

But I'm a wanderer. I'm a warrior

Marching towards something new.

I'm a pioneer, in spite of fear

Give me the peace I'm due

This traveler in search of a clearer view

Chasing the setting sun

Clear my mind. I have to run

Each place feels the same

How long can I remain?

And I'm a wanderer. I'm a warrior

Marching towards something new.

I'm a pioneer, in spite of fear

Give me the peace I'm due

This traveler in search of his clearer view

Musicality

Recently, I've found an increasing amount of people in my life that are deeply involved in music. In turn, I've been finding the inspiration to pursue a passion that's been deeply ingrained in my entire life. Unfortunately, I haven't had the money to purchase a piano this past year, so I have no way of melodically penning music. Instead, I've been focusing on lyrical composition and working with those I know have the ability and means to fill in the former.

While I've played the piano since kindergarten or about age 5, I have had little experience in composition. I've always watched others with self-conscious admiration. The ability to construct lines of music, themes, harmonies, complex rhythms etc is something I've envied of the musicians in my life. Growing up, I lacked a formal education in musical theory, so I relied on teaching myself and a few scattered lessons over the years.

Recently, however, I've enjoyed an increasing desire and clear inspiration to pursue my own music. After leaving college, I lost the resources for this creative outlet. I'm thousands of miles away from my piano and voice teachers and I cannot go to a practice room on a whim to tinker around. This loss has become a growing concern of mine and one that I now find I'm ready to actively pursue.

Writing, in general, has become a huge passion for me and I've always seen music as one of the most evocative forms of expression. I'm thankful for those people in my life that have reintroduced this to my life and I'm excited to keep moving forward with music in mind. If anything else, it'll give me a good laugh or two a few years down the line.

Lesson Three: Music

Between all of the visits with family and friends, the eating and drinking and reminiscing there wasn't always as much time as I would have liked to be by myself. As my trip began winding down and I had to start thinking about packing and a new list of tasks, I sat in the car. Just sitting, listening to music. Jason Mraz - of whom I a big fan - "The Boy's Gone" came on my ipod. This introspective ballad from his first album, Waiting for My Rocket To Come, pierced my state of thinking.

I really listened to these lyrics and I felt like this song was about me. Going back to Los Angeles has been very bittersweet and this song outlined that emotional process. The more I'm here, the more this song becomes appropriate. The more it becomes painful. The more it becomes hopeful.

The boy has gone home.

The boy's gone. The boy's gone home.
The boy's gone. The boy's gone home.

What will happen to a face in the crowd when it finally gets too crowded.
And what will happen to the origins of sound after all the sounds have sounded
Well I hope I never have to see that day but by god I know it's headed our way
So I better be happy now that the boy's going home.
The boy's gone home.

And what becomes of a day for those who rage against it
And who will sum up the phrase for all left standing around in it

Well I suppose we'll all make our judgement calls
We'll walk it alone, stand up tall, then march to the fall
So we better be happy now that we'll all go home.
That we'll all go home.

Be so happy with the way you are
Just be happy that you made it this far
Go on be happy now.
Please be happy now.

Because you say that this, this is something else (alright)
I say that this, this is something else (well alright)
I say that this, oh, this is something, this is something else
Oo thi-thi-thi-thi-this is all, thi-thi-thi-thi-this is yeah,
thi-thi thi-thi-thi-this is all something else

Well I tried to live my life and lived it so well
But when it's all over is it heaven or is it hell
So I better be happy now that no one can tell, nobody knows
I'm gonna be happy with the way that I am
I'm gonna be happy with all that I stand for
I'm gonna be happy now because the boy's going home.

The boy's gone home.

Yeah the boy's gone home.
Yeah the boy's gone home.
Yeah the boy's gone home.

Gentrification

Looked out the window - neighborhood kids playing football on our lawn. Pitching throws to kids across the street. Some palms swaying to the beat of new music on Natalie's pod.

I just got back from a trip to Palm Springs. The same ol' time: booze, bubbles in the hot tub, topped off with some hung over IHOP. Sounds pretty juvenile, but worth the 2ish hour trip for a relaxing, time honored tradition. Why is it that getting out of LA, even for a day, feels like a breath of fresh air? (well...aside from the smog index...) A simple change of surroundings and 110 degrees later and I'm good to go.

It's strange though. I really enjoy coming home to my apartment after work. It's becoming a sanctuary. I wasn't sure I was going to find one here. I'm still trying to find the day-to-day moments that reaffirm this feeling.

Here's a great new track to check out; courtesy of a friend of a friend: Broadcast 2000: Building Blocks. "Get Up and Go"

Read the review and check out the song at http://bwank.com/?p=219