Family Ties

It has been over 8 months since I've seen my family. Have I avoided going home? No. Have I tried to go home? Yes. Things just haven't been working out for me in this regard and it is because of this that I have felt a deepening longing to go home and seem my family. I wouldn't say that it's because I want to be coddled and cooed over. Those days are long gone. Nonetheless, there is a comfort about being home, in the house I've grown up in, with the family I grew up with.

I think I attribute this desire to our ever-evolving dynamic as a family. Where most people would account for this change as a point of stress, I find myself drawn to it. I've mentioned before the transformation that takes place after high school and especially after college; that is, where the family undergoes a severe restructuring. Because we are not bound by the nuclear ties of a single roof or our "parents rules," we suddenly become human to one another.

I'm fascinated by the new roles we assume in the family. Yes, the old roles exist, but more as a vestige or a reason for the way things are. Often time, it's a scapegoat and, other times, it's a point of pride. Sometimes we let go and other times we hold on. Still, having spent so much time away from home, I'm seeing each of us - my mother, father, sister and brother - as more or less on a level playing field. We all have our strong suits and our weaknesses. We all have the ways in which we show love and hate. We all have issues.

I've been, and continue to be, intrigued but what makes my family tick. I miss our debates around the dinner table - as much as I also loathe them. My family is growing. My sister is due with his first child in December and a new story begins. Ours continues and I want to catch up and meet the individuals that cared for my as a child in the place they are at now.

OK. I also want a home-cooked meal from my mom and to be coddled... but just a little bit.