Oh yeah...

I just realized that I left something big out of the last few posts.

So, I've been writing about how I'll be leaving HSI and that I've been making the transition into freelancing, etc.. Well, an interesting turn of events has changed my "plan" yet again. Two Fridays ago, during my last full week, one of the execs hollered (yes, that's the correct verb) for me. One of our director's assistants had decided to move to Maine with his wife, leaving the position open. He proposed that I step in on a trial period as his assistant. I did, and all parties have agreed that this will become my permanent (or as some would say --- "permalance" --- permanent freelance. Just me? Ok anyway...) position at HSI.

I know what you're thinking :
"But I thought you were better off leaving?"
"Weren't things better this way?"
"What about that fresh start in the right direction!?"

Well yes, I was looking for all of that and I would say that my leaving HSI would have been a blessing in disguise (as are most drastic, unexpected changes); however, this job is much different from my previous job as a 2nd Assistant upstairs. I've now moved downstairs to work as Simon Cole's assistant. Working with the VP and EP of Music Video was much more demanding on a day to day basis. Simon constantly works in LA, NY and the UK. What does that mean? Well, it means that I have a great deal more time to myself as his needs/tasks can be dealt with on on Blackberry and/or computer (aka anywhere). Simon sat me down and explained that I should use this job to my advantage. Work my butt off for him and, in the inevitbale downtime, work my butt off for myself; go on auditions, produce, write, etc..

This job has been an enormous, unexpected blessing. I now have been given the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. The stability of steady work with a great company and the freedom to actively persue my own interests and careers goals. So, with the new year coming, my previous goals remain the same: begin 2009 with a fresh perspective and enlivened spirit to pursue my dreams and remember the reasons I set out here in the first place.

In the wake of change....

So, as you can see, this weekend's shoot for DOOR TO DOOR went amazingly well. I am still high from the amount of professionalism, creativity and sheer talent that our crew exhibited. It's often been the case in my independent film-making experience that production elements of similar projects are rarely on the same level. A script may be amazing, but you sacrifice production design. The acting is great, but the sound is awful. You get the point. For the first time, all elements meshed together and rose to the same level. One that, frankly, I'm amazed at.

Besides the technical aspects - the RED Camera (4x the resolution quality of HD), JL Fisher Dolly, etc - our team shone bright. Everything from the cast (Chelsey Bryson, our amazing kids, Mark Rydell, Laura Black), to the script, to the score, to the sound (Keith Wasserman) to the production design (Brent Mason) - everyone stepped up and I couldn't be more excited to have been apart of the this project.

Micah (Director/EP of Movie Magic) and I were talking about what DOOR TO DOOR represented. Since starting MMM, our passion has been creative collaboration. We've learned the price and balance of free flow and structure and this project affirms the proper balance inherent to this company.

We were blessed to have such a strong production team. I learned so much from everyone and will be continue to grow professionally as a result of it.

Having had this project monopolize my mind for the past week, I've put off addressing other worries, concerns and fears. Most specifically that change has, again, infiltrated my life. Daily air raids and attacks on my day-to-day life have become an inevitability. I lost my job at HSI Productions. After interning here over the summer, I was ecstatic to be brought on full time. It was still the slow season in production and while others were struggling to find work, I was lucky enough to land and stay here.

Over the last six months here, I have learned an invaluable amount of information about an industry previously unknown to me. I've also learned about myself and reconfirmed the passion I have for acting. The reason I went to college, the art that helped me survive high school - this is the reason I came here in the first place. I got comfortable at HSI. Steady pay, security, etc. I lost sight of my goals. Having figured all of this out - I told myself that I would leave by the end of the year. The more time passed, the less likely this was an option (especically in the wake of America's economic downfall).

I was called into the office early last week. Tuesday afternoon I was told that our company had not bounced back from the slow period like they had originally expected when I was brought in house. Being a 2nd Assistant, having worked here for a short period of time - these factors played into my being let go. I have to keep telling myself to not make this personal. She was very clear that this was in no way a reflection of the quality of my work, but a sign of the economic times.

I can be at peace with that. In many ways, this is a blessing. I'm trying to pray and keep cool from the beginning of this change - instead of my typical pattern of freaking out, "figuring it out myself" and then at the last moment looking to someone else in desperation. Let's just cut to the helping hand part. I now have the opportunity to start over and look at my life again from a fresh perspective. I'm not weighed down the 1000 more uncertainties of my residency like in August. Now I can focus on my career goals and a lifestyle that benefits my energy, passions and relationships.

So, in the wake of change, I find myself on the brink of something great. Something frighteningly new and fresh - yet, all too familiar. From this point; from on outset, I need to have faith, pray and trust a design bigger than my own. I will ride the wave of change into the new year - one already branded as the dawn of a new era for me, my country and the world.