Quiet Fix

Like I mentioned before, I've been spending more of my time focusing on music as a creative outlet. As I have no piano easily at my fingertips, I've been proactive about writing lyrics and then working with friends (who do have these melodic means) to add music. Not the most pragmatic way to go about penning a song, but I'm working with what I've got! Here are some lyrics I've been working on. I'm a few songs in now...

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Tropics line the streets

Wheels and pavement meet

The earth beneath me quakes

I feel my body shake and...

Each day I search for a quiet fix

An easy sign

Slow passing time

To understand what I've missed

But I'm a wanderer. I'm a warrior

Marching towards something new.

I'm a pioneer, in spite of fear

Give me the peace I'm due

This traveler in search of a clearer view

Buildings line the streets

Cabs provide a steady fleet

Time passes in the Square

Passing me by without a care and...

Each day I search for a quiet fix

An easy sign

Slow passing time

To understand what I've missed

But I'm a wanderer. I'm a warrior

Marching towards something new.

I'm a pioneer, in spite of fear

Give me the peace I'm due

This traveler in search of a clearer view

Chasing the setting sun

Clear my mind. I have to run

Each place feels the same

How long can I remain?

And I'm a wanderer. I'm a warrior

Marching towards something new.

I'm a pioneer, in spite of fear

Give me the peace I'm due

This traveler in search of his clearer view

Musicality

Recently, I've found an increasing amount of people in my life that are deeply involved in music. In turn, I've been finding the inspiration to pursue a passion that's been deeply ingrained in my entire life. Unfortunately, I haven't had the money to purchase a piano this past year, so I have no way of melodically penning music. Instead, I've been focusing on lyrical composition and working with those I know have the ability and means to fill in the former.

While I've played the piano since kindergarten or about age 5, I have had little experience in composition. I've always watched others with self-conscious admiration. The ability to construct lines of music, themes, harmonies, complex rhythms etc is something I've envied of the musicians in my life. Growing up, I lacked a formal education in musical theory, so I relied on teaching myself and a few scattered lessons over the years.

Recently, however, I've enjoyed an increasing desire and clear inspiration to pursue my own music. After leaving college, I lost the resources for this creative outlet. I'm thousands of miles away from my piano and voice teachers and I cannot go to a practice room on a whim to tinker around. This loss has become a growing concern of mine and one that I now find I'm ready to actively pursue.

Writing, in general, has become a huge passion for me and I've always seen music as one of the most evocative forms of expression. I'm thankful for those people in my life that have reintroduced this to my life and I'm excited to keep moving forward with music in mind. If anything else, it'll give me a good laugh or two a few years down the line.

Clear the air

New car. New apartment. New Job. Check, check, check.

I find it hard to believe that things came together as they did - almost exactly as I said they would to those who wondered why in the hell I'd be moving to Los Angeles. It's like when you graduate high school or college and everyone asks you (at least once per conversation) where you are going to school or what you're going to do next; you rattle off your strategic 5-year plan of attack over and over and over again. Well, it's no surprise that after a while you start to believe it. Well, I did and I guess rounding the three month mark here in LA, I'm a little awestruck at how things fell into place for me.

Something else that's weird, almost existential, is now and again I have these - I don't know what to call them - moments? feelings? realizations? that this is my life. I wake up everyday and go to work. I go until 6 or 7, come home, eat and pass out and then I wake up and do it all over again. I do love my job and I'm excited to see what steps will come later in life, but each day that passes, it becomes glaringly obvious that I need a creative outlet. By creative outlet, I mean that I need to stay proactive about pursuing acting professionally.

It's going to become really easy to fall into this pattern that I've worked so hard to set up for myself the past few months. A rut does not sound appealing and completely loosing sight of why I cam out here in the first sounds even worse. Fortunately, I have side projects (like everyone else in this town it seems) that keep me sane. Currently, I'm line-producing a short film/musical entitled "Door-to-Door." I'll explain more about that later. We had one of our first production meetings this week and everyone has their concerns. I have my concerns. The difference between the two, is that I have to (at least) pretend like I'm not worried - I got it under control - unload all your worries on me and I'll fix it.

Usually, I love being that guy, but I just can't seem to get past the exhaustion that comes from going to work everyday and then coming home - and expecting myself to be productive. Where did the switch happen? How was I able to go to class everyday in college, do homework and then drink heavily for 4/7 days of the week in college (well ... freshman year anyway). Now, I can barely stay awake after going to work. I'm waiting for my body to adjust to adult life and everything to click. I can't see that happening anytime soon though...