23rd Birthday

So, in an effort to feel caught up with this thing, here's a quick review of my 23rd Birthday!

Amazing food. Amazing friends.

Alex tells a good story.

The Odd Couple.

Lady R.

Rachel. Always classy.

Where'd you come from?

Well, if you insist!

I consider myself a very lucky person to be where I am at this point in my life. I've been living in LA a year now - which I can't believe - and I feel grounded and happy with my life. As I said before, my situation changes daily, but even in this uncertainty, there's a great sense of peace and happiness in having a home, a core of friends and a family that I can rely on.

Needless to say, my birthday reminded me that I have a great deal to be thankful for. I have a good feeling about 23.

I can't figure out the words.

I'm having a hard time constructing my thoughts.

I can't really say what I want to say.

I don't know what I should say.

I know exactly where I was a year ago today - down to the hour, minute, second.

I'm sorry for calling before you knew.

I miss you all.

I know we started something big.

I know there's a lot more jokes being told then tears being shed.

I know you're stronger than most.

I feel weaker sometimes.

I cry more.

I smile more.

I pray more.

You love more.

Your heart grows bigger.

The heavens get brighter.

The well dries up...

The water overflows.

I can't construct my sentences and manipulate my pen to tell you why.

I know there's a plan.

I know there's pain.

I know I'll be here and you'll be here.

I know he's there and I know He's there.

I know you know this.

I think that means we know enough.

I hope you're smiling.

Movie Magic

I'm going to Palm Spring this weekend to scout and brainstorm for Movie Magic Media's next film. It's a horror film, feature-length, based in improvisation. That's about all I'll say of it now.

I'm excited to get going. Going with a few good friends to scout locations - a few houses, Joshua Tree, The Saltan Sea - see what speaks to our inner-horror aficionados. Let's be serious though, a little vacation is always nice. Palm Springs is always a good time. Even if we're working, we'll be by the pool or hiking or exploring these locations.

In addition to starting a new production, on March 17th, we'll be screening Door to Door at The Wilshire Screening Room. We've begun the festival submission process and have been accepted into one small one so far. All of these small victories keep adding up!

I'm proud of Movie Magic Media. There's so many ideas pumping through our budding company and we're pursing them. We're working creatively and making stuff happen. This has been hugely important for me the past year. To have a solid creative outlet and to be working for yourself is a great feeling.

I'm always thankful for these opportunities to work with my friends on something new and exciting. I guess that's all I really wanted to say!

"I get by with a little help from my friends...."

I've been thinking about this Beatles anthem all week. It's amazing to think how time has passed since my formative years, elementary school, middle school, high school, college... now. Some memories are so clear, so vivid - it's as if I lived them yesterday. Other memories are fading exponentially quicker - faces from high school, parties with old friends, the list goes on. This week, I got coffee with one of my best friends from childhood, Noelle. I've been friends with her since middle school. Along with Jeff (my best friend from 2nd grade) and Meg (Noelle's best friend from birth), I have considered myself blessed with the amount of love and support they have provided. I don't know that I would have gotten by without the help of these (and other) friends.

My last few posts have been regarding the large transition that's taking place in my life. The other day, walking to my car after work, I told myself that I was allowed to give in to the anxiety boiling inside of me. I took five minutes to freak out, to relish in every "worse-case-scenario," and to tell myself that there was no answer. After five minutes had passed, I stopped. That was it - I'm no longer allowed to succumb to my anxiety or fear. I have been as proactive as possible about making something happen - and now I must relinquish my need for control and realize that this is no longer in my hands.

The next day, I got coffee with Noelle just to check in. I hadn't had the chance to go to church last week so we didn't get our weekly meeting. After expressing my coping methods with her - she looked at me and in earnest said, "This is the perfect time for God to test you faith, Mark!" Oddly enough, I had just gotten off the phone with Meg who said almost verbatim, the same thing.

What a fascinating --- and glaringly obvious --- concept. How typical of me not to fully grasp this idea on my own. I have no right to freak out. Have I ever found myself without previsions? I guess there's a reason that God said "with the faith of mustard seed, you can move mountains." I mean, if that's the case, shouldn't there be rouge ranges all over the place? Why aren't the Rockies in Florida or the Himalayas in Germany? It's because real faith is difficult. It's not for the faint of heart or the indifferent spirit. Faith means unconditional belief. That, my friends, is a rarity - if at all possible in the purest in form.

Sidenote: Coffee with Noelle at Susina Cafe was straight up East Coast winter stylin'. Warm lighting around a Christmas tree while listening to jazz music and sharing coffee. Sorry... was that too much too soon? It just got me fired up to hang out in Philly and get drinks, hot chocolate and walk down Chestnut St. in the freezing cold!

Anyway, to put a cap on this entry - I did my best to absorb what Meg and Noelle said, and the anxiety is now at a lull. I got a call yesterday to go on set this weekend in Palm Springs at a great rate and got word for a few other freelancing possibilities. If I can book a few more - I'll be good until the end of January.

Ask you shall recieve. Check your motives for these requests. Have a little faith...

... and thank your friends.