Imagine what you can do...

Finally! After many months of hard work, Emerson has posted our commercial "Imagine what you can do..." on their newly launched website! Check out the link to view the video on Emerson's site below!

THE EMERSON EXPERIENCE

Emerson College Promo from MMM on Vimeo.

Thank you all for your support during this long process! And be ready for some more loving as Emerson has just hired MMM to do another spot for the School of Communications. Boston, here we come (again)!

Pomp and Circumstance

I've spent the last week in Atlanta visiting my cousin for her high school graduation, but I guess I didn't realize that a vacation from LA would be so welcome at this time. Things have been going immensely well for me the last month or so, but stepping out into the humid Georgia night and feeling the thick air fill my smog-lined lungs; watching lighting dance in the sky and hearing distance rumbles echo across the eastern city just made me so thankful for a change in scenery.

It's been five years since I've graduated high school. Two years out of college seems like a greater distance than five years from AP exams, SAT's and senior dinners. Watching my cousin - more like my sister, as I've watched her grow up literally from birth - walk across the stage brought a little perspective (my favorite word) to my time away from Los Angeles.

I love visiting my aunt and uncle in Atlanta because I feel the deepest connection to this part of my family outside of the immediate. In the course of any given trip, no topic goes un-discussed, no button un-pushed, no argument un-fought. I say all of this with a great deal of love as these trips have become unofficial benchmarks in my life; an easy gauge of my growth into adulthood. At a young age, I would loath my aunt poking fun at my shortcomings - only to grow and realize her true intent. As my aunt and uncle constantly challenged me to be better, show a little more respect, speak a little more clearly and act a little more my age, I began to view these visits as my own interpersonal SATs - awaiting eagerly for the final verdict on my behavior, securing my acceptance into the adult realm.

Five years out of college and now in my mid-20's, I joined my family in Atlanta for the first time in several years. Already anticipating the familial pop-quizzes, I was surprised to discover I had already passed my entrance exams and graduated to their adult world. Five years ago, I was 19; a selfish, naive boy ready to run away from his family to live out college. At the age of 24, I actually think I'm still all of those things, but I realize how much everything else has changed. The topics of conversation are certainly new, the analyzations more indicative and my family, the most transparent its ever been.

I'm grateful to have found a huge deal of support with my aunt and uncle who indicate and insure the growing support in my entire family for the many changes we've undergone these last few months. I think I'm comfortable enough now to say that I am gay in a more public sphere - I've come to terms with a lot about myself, about my upbringing and my family in this last year and I'm a lucky guy to say the least. While this is a still a new adjustment, I know that my parents are not walking away, I know that my family supports me in my adult life and I know that this is just one of many finals we'll have to pass in order to graduate into each new chapter of our lives.

My short time here has opened my mind a lot more than I would have expected. Again, I've had the chance to actively watch my family bloom, another member taking the next step in their lives in Atlanta. Meanwhile, miles away at Penn State, my brother graduated from college (the last of the Cramer children to do so) on the same day. The day-to-day movement of my family continually reminds me that time is a commodity we cannot waste with empty arguments and unfair assumptions. We continue to reshape and evolve and grow very much together and very much apart. Five years ago, I don't think I would have guessed that my family would be having the discussions we're now having. And now, the Perano's have graduated high school, the Cramer's have graduated from college and I'm taking each day as its own celebration of growth and learning.

Yes

The power of yes. One word.
Relieving stress. Unleash. Contest.
Unwavering faith. One word.
Abate. Open my eyes.
Say yes. Confide.
Relinguish pride.

Say yes. Accept.
One word. Forget.
Erase a notion.
Embrace emotion.
Accept the corny metaphor.
Accept my knocking at your door.

The power of yes. One word.
Confess.
Love in name. Under one he came.
Saying, "Yes, I know.
and yes, you'll grow.
Yes, you'll hear.
And yes, you'll fear.
Yes to all, even when you fall.
A world contests, but I accept."

Say yes. One word.
A world apart.
To live in love. A brand new start.
Conflicting views to the same end.
The power of yes. One word.
Amend.

Shades of Grey Matter

The human psyche is a fairly puzzling thing - I think that's safe to say. Why do we do the things we do? What countless numbers of outcomes per any given situation fuel our motivations? Why do we connect with certain people? Is it the place, time, convenience, need; the list goes on.

Relationships are one of the most invaluable aspects of my life. I've made that clear, whether it be my family, my friends, significant others or my colleagues. There are people in my life that fall into one of these categories and others that encompass all; and if you know me, you know I take my relationships very seriously. I've been built to function in a support system. While, I'm independent enough to "go it alone," I don't think people were meant to thrive this way. Everyone has someone that they draw strength and insight from in some form or another. I'd be hard-pressed to think of anyone who is truly a one-man show.

Still, we often encounter people who operate regardless of the world around them - they are tough, fierce and impenetrable. If the rest of the world doesn't "get it," then to hell with them. It's not that person's problem.

The more I grow, the more I realize that people cannot operate this way and be truly happy. God knows I have tried, but to little avail. I have attempted making decisions and choices without regard to the world around me. I've been determined to carve my path in spite of what others think. I've done all of these things, but the fact of the matter is is that human beings are social creatures. We rely on interaction, contact, acceptance and love to survive emotionally.

I say these things very carefully. I do not mean to impress that I believe we should fear the opinions of the masses or to simply mold ourselves to what we're taught and told to believe; no. What I intend to impart from my personal experiences is that I'm learning more now than ever that a strong support system is one of the most invaluable things in life and worth the battle wounds and scar tissue that inevitably come while searching for one.

Days turn into weeks into months into years - we've all heard this. With the passage of time comes seasons and with seasons come change; some are inevitable and others unexpected. Growing up in Philadelphia, I'd watch the leaves turn every Fall. By winter, bare trees would freeze until Spring brought a fresh bloom. Beneath all of this, the roots that anchor these trees quietly and ceaselessly provide the nutrients necessary for the tree to survive and re-bloom every single year.

A wise friend often reminds me that relationships operate very similarly. There are those in your life who are the foundation, your roots. You trust them to always be there and sustain you no matter what season. Then, there are those people who are branches. Strong extensions of the former, the branches form the shape and character of your life. Branches can also break and fall away as time and seasons wear on just as new branches grow. Finally, there are the leaves. Entirely seasonal, these people offer shade and sustenance until the sun changes its angle and a new season begins. New leaves will grow in the name of a similar fate; they simply flutter away in the wind or die as the cold sets in.

I have been here for two years now and I'm continually learning where to find my support in LA. Who are the people I turn to and trust? Where do I connect? Why do I connect? How do I figure out which people will fall away with a strong gust of wind or who will branch out from my core or root me in unwavering support? Unfortunately, I think this only comes with experience.

Yes, this interpersonal intuition come with time, with effort and with wounds. It comes from constantly pursing these connections and feeling out the human condition. It comes from not giving up even when a branch gives out or when Winter reclaims its leaves back to the Earth. It means loving amidst all the shades of grey the exist in our heads and under the shade of our tree.

The pursuit of the relationship is one I gladly undertake. It's one I do not fear, despite its dangers and its traps. I choose to find the roots, learn from loss and love the journey.

And now we grow...

As 2010 rounds its first corner, I find myself standing back a great distance, looking at my family. After spending so much time scrutinizing the microscopic anomalies, the confusing little tidbits, the deformities; I find myself standing back a great distance, trying to see the bigger picture.

My family underwent a number of metamorphoses during Christmas. Some of these gave birth to butterflies and others left us with moths dancing around the last light of some played out argument. It was the strangest sensation - feeling my family pull apart at its seams while simultaneously growing stronger. The conflicting forces left me disheartened to say the least.

There's only some peace in silence; solace from the distress of unwanted company. Even in the silence, there's the noise of your own thoughts. I did my best to reach out to my family and talk - if only to say"hello" - and break the silence.

Warmer and warmer. A smile felt through the phone. The heavy hate that lined my stomach finally being cleansed from the body.

I think standing this far back I realize how difficult, yet blessed these last few months have been for us. Christmas began with the most overwhelming, emotive love I've ever felt. Conversely, I also experience what I think it truly means to have love taken away from you.

I say I'm blessed because I realize that my life encountered a natural disaster. It's been affected by time affords all living things. Like wildfires that arise and burn every so often - eradicating the brush and the bulk of forests, destroying life, stripping the earth of its structure and peace. After the fires subside and the smoke settles, the dead decompose and fuel new life; stronger life. A more select and stable ecosystem arises.

From this great distance, I see that mine is rising. My family's is rising. We burned to the ground. A new seed was born and planted. And now we grow. And love prevails.

To Do List

It's been quite a while since I've actively and regularly updated my blog. Since Christmas, things have been a blur. Constantly moving, constantly changing, constantly growing. I keep promising myself to set aside a little time every day - or maybe even just a couple times a week - and dedicate said time to myself, writing, playing music, being alone with my own thoughts; the list goes one. Obviously, these self-inflicted promises are to little avail.

Additionally, sitting down, I find myself staring at this screen wondering where to start with these updates. So much has happened. What do I say? What do I divulge? What would anyone really care about reading. Then again, I told myself I'd keep this blog, more importantly, as an ongoing portrait of my life for me to look back on. So I suppose, I'd better keep myself interested.

Being a goal-oriented person (aka a person that makes too many lists), I've decided to give myself a to-do list for this week. I'm going to make it a personal goal to post on the following topics in one form or another by the week's end:

1) Work

2) Family

3) Travel

4) Faith

5) Relationships

6) Creative stuffs

I suppose, these have become my main labels over the course of the last two years. I'll feel better if I can accomplish this task - although it's looking a little ambitious now. We'll see how this turns out.

Appreciation Post "Beating of a Lifetime"

Today, MMM Productions' music video "Beating of a Lifetime" for the Appreciation Post is featured on PureVolume.com. Director Chris Cullari and MMM resident DP Elie Smolkin shot the project while in Boston on another MMM venture for Emerson College.

This year is shaping up to be a busy one with a number of projects coming up in the next few months. I'll have more updates shortly - just wanted to quickly post this and put it out into the blog-sphere!

Enjoy!

Silence

I wrote the following a while ago. I keep looking at it, expecting to be able to finish it. But I haven't been able to. Maybe this is all this is. Either way...

silence fills my ears with drums

beating deep inside

silence pounds, the night feels long

my mind dancing in stride

Unknown's the way my eyes will fall

landing on which door

But when I think I've got it all

I hide from silence more

Baby Beers

Well it finally happened. Our family has begun a new generation. On January 20th at 12:16 am, my sister gave birth to Jackson Beers. I speak often about the ebb and flow of the family dynamic now that both of my siblings and I are in our twenties and navigating adulthood, but with the addition of two baby cousins and now a nephew, I realized that the absence of my large Italian family was not an absence, but a time of transition. New children are filling the spaces left by Danielle, Jesse and I. What's even stranger, is that they are our children.

I returned from NY Friday evening; literally jumping out of a production cube and running to Port Authority. I finally fell asleep in the warmth of my childhood room. Around 10:30 am, I received a rather panicked phone call from my sister asking where my mother was. I immediately knew what was going on. I grabbed my Dad and picked up my Mom at the King of Prussia Mall and headed over to Bryn Mawr Birthing Center. Unfortunately, January 19 also happened to be biggest December snow storm since 1907 (or something). What a Cramer move to inconvenience everyone and everything for your big dramatic arrival. The baby already has it figured out.

My sister was a champ during her labor - eating the entire time, standing and walking around, laughing and talking with us in-between contractions. When it finally came time to push, my Dad, Mrs. Beers and I sat outside the door and cheered her on. After 14 hours of active labor, just after midnight, we all heard Jackson cry for the first time.

I can't tell you the flood of emotions that probably pulsed throughout the room, but what I felt was not shocking, but it did take me somewhat by surprise. It's incredible, the amount of love that I feel for Jackson instantly. I'm sure it's only a fraction of what the parent feels, but unconditional love nonetheless. "He has your blood. Isn't that crazy?" I watch and listen as reality falls piece by piece on my sister. It's like everyday is a new revelation in her life. I'm surprised by the lack of fear and uncertainty Danielle and Jeff exhibit - emotions I'm convinced will denote the arrival of my first child.

Thus begins the next generation of our family and they seem completely capable of raising Jackson. This baby doesn't even realize the amount of love he has around him. I hold him and feel like he's my own. I'm excited for his future and helping raise him in our family. It's been quite the Christmas vacation so far - and there's still a week left.

I <3 NY, but get me home.

I haven’t been writing much lately, but I guess that’s a good thing. Over the last few months, my time hasn’t been consumed with trepidations about jobs, income and other matters that have been actively racing around in my head for the better part of the year. Work has been steady – knock on wood – and I’ve been doing my best to push through each week giving 100% to every new challenge.

Right now, I’m sitting on a bus waiting to leave Port Authority in New York City. After my last job in LA, I had planned on returning to Philadelphia early to be with my family. My sister is now two days shy of her dues date and I want more than anything to experience the change our family dynamic is about to undergo.

Instead of getting off the plane and driving home to a warm dinner – I rushed to a bus and taxied to New York. Before leaving LA, I was offered a job on a commercial in New York for a few days. Never having worked production in New York – and lucky to have the chance to make some money right before the holidays – I took the job as a learning experience, as a chance to network and to make some extra money.

The differences between New York and Los Angeles production are fairly overt, but more on that later. I spent the second part of my workweek hustling around the Big Apple. I feel worn out and spread thin by the last few days. As a blizzard approaches the East Coast, I am silently screaming inside my head for the bus driver to get the lead out. I want to be home with my family. I want to go to Valley Forge Park and go sledding with my friends. I want to go a few days without thinking about work.

As Jeff so aptly put it: “Mark’s bloodlust for networking and money” has been satisfied. Frankly, after the last two months, I’m exhausted. With another two weeks still left in principle photography for the Emerson Promo come January, I plan on indulging in the next two weeks. I plan on recharging my battery. I plan on eating a lot of food, having a lot to drink and reveling in the holiday.

Come New Years, I’ll gladly lift a thankful head to the sky for a healthy family and the current state of my life.